I'm Trying to Stop It 

"Boy, why have you got cotton-wool in your ear? Is it infected?" 

"No, sir, but you said yesterday that everything you told me went in one ear and out the other , so I am trying to stop it." 
“孩子，你为什么用棉花塞住耳朵？它感染了吗？” 

“没有，老师。可是你昨天说你告诉我的知识都是一个耳朵里进，一个耳朵里出，所以我要把它堵在里面。” 

“I'm sorry ，Madam ，but I shall have to charge you twenty dollars for pulling your boy's tooth .” 

“Twenty d ollars! Why ，I understand you to say that you charged only four dollars for such work!” 

“Yes ，but this youngster yelled so terribly that he scared four other patients out of the office .” 

“对不起，夫人，为您孩子拔牙我要收取20美元。” 

“20美元！为什么？不是说好只要4美元。” 

“是的，但是你的孩子大喊大叫，把另外四个病人吓跑了。” 

TWO： Teacher：We all know that beat causes an object to expand an cold cauese it to contract. Now，can anyone give me a good example? 

John：Well ，in the summer the days are long，and in the winter the days are short. 

老师：我们都知道热胀冷缩的道理。现在，谁给我举个例子？ 

约翰：嗯，在夏天天都长，在冬天天都短。 

The lecturer on evolution had been going on for nearly two hours. then he started again, and said he:"Let me ask the evolutionist a question --- if we had tails like a baboon, where are they?" 

"I'll venture an answer, " said an old lady. "We have worn them off sitting here so long.". 

教进化论的老师已经滔滔不绝地讲了快两个小时，他的话题又来了：“让我向进化论者提个问题——如果我们曾经像狒狒那样长着尾巴，那么现在尾巴到哪里去了？” 

“我来试试看，”一位老太太说。 
“该是我们在这里坐这么久把它们磨掉了吧。”

A teacher said to her class: 

"Who was the first man?" 

“George Washington," a little boy shouted promptly. 

"How do you make out that George Washington was the first man?" asked the teacher, smiling indulgently. 

"Because, " said the little boy, "he was first in war, first in peace, and first in the hearts of his countrymen." 

But at this point a larger boy held up his hand. 

"Well," said the teacher to him, "who do you think was the first man?" 

"I don't know what his name was," said the larger boy, "but I know it wasn't George Washington, ma'am, because the history book says George Washington married a widow, so, of course, there must have been a man ahead of him." 

有个老师问班上的学生： 

“谁是第一个男人？” 

“乔治·华盛顿，”一个小男孩当即叫道。 

“你怎么知道乔治·华盛顿是第一个男人呢？”老师问道，宽容地微笑着。 

小男孩说：“因为他是战时第一，和时第一，国人心中第一。” 

这时一个大点儿的男孩举起手来。 

“那么，”老师对他说，“你认为谁是第一个男人呢？” 

“我不知道他的名字，”大点儿的男孩说，“但我知道不是乔治·华盛顿，老师。因为历史书上说，乔治·华盛顿取了一个寡妇，所以在他前面肯定还有一个男人。”