A mother mouse was out for a stroll with her babies when she spotted a cat crouched behind a bush. She watched the cat, and the cat watched the mice.

Mother mouse barked fiercely, "Woof, woof, woof!" The cat was so terrified that it ran for it's life.

Mother mouse turned to her babies and said, "Now, do you understand the value of a second language?"

一只母老鼠带着孩子出来散步，突然她看见一只猫正在灌木丛中虎视耽耽。

母老鼠向着猫叫道：“汪，汪，汪”，猫听了非常害怕，拼命跑走了。

母老鼠回过头洋洋自得的对孩子说：“现在你知道外语的重要性了吧。”




Father's Things

When Tom Howard was seventeen years old he was as tall as his father, so he began to borrow Mr. Howard's clothes when he wanted to go out with his friends in the evening.



Mr. Howard did not like this, and he always got very angry when he found his son wearing any of his things.

One evening when Tom came downstairs to go out, his father stopped him in the hall. He looked at Tom's clothes very carefully.

Then he said angrily, "Isn't that one of my ties, Tom?"

"Yes, Father, it is," answered Tom.

"And that shirt's mine too."

"Yes, that's yours too," answered Tom.

"And you're wearing my belt!" said Mr. Howard.

"Yes, I am, Father," answered Tom. "You don't want your trousers to fall down, do you?"

父亲的东西

汤姆.霍德华十七岁的时候，长得和父亲一样高了，于是当他晚上和朋友一起出去时，就开始借父亲的衣服穿。

霍德华先生可不喜欢这样，当他发现他的儿子穿他的衣服时，总是非常生气。

一天晚上，汤姆下楼准备出去，父亲在门厅里拦住了他。他细细打量着汤姆的穿着。

然后他气呼呼地说：“汤姆，那不是我的一条领带吗？”

汤姆回答说：“是的，父亲，是你的领带。”

“还有那衬衫也是我的。”

“是的，衬衫也是你的。”汤姆回答说。

“还有呢，你连皮带也用我的。”霍德华先生说。

“是的，父亲，”汤姆回答说，“你不愿意让你的裤子掉下来吧？”

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　　Jerry went to a psychiatrist. "Doc," he said, "I've got trouble. Every time I get into bed, I think there's somebody under it. I'm going crazy!" Just put yourself in my hands for one year," said the shrink. "Come to me three times a week, and I'll cure your fears." How much do you charge?" A hundred dollars per visit." I'll sleep on it," said Jerry. Six months later the doctor met Jerry on the street. "Why didn't you ever come to see me again?" asked the psychiatrist. For a hundred bucks a visit? The bartender cured me for $10." "Is that so! How?" He told me to cut the legs off the bed!" Ain't nobody under there now!!!

---

　　1、I came home from work one day to find my wife,Jolynn,cradling our six-month-old daughter and repeating,"Da-da" How sweet,I though to myself,for her to choose Daddy as our babys first word.

Several weeks later,Jhlynn and I were wakened by a small voice crying,"Da-da".Turning over to go back to sleep,my wife said,"Shes calling you,dear"

译：一天，我下班回家，发觉我的妻子将我们六个月的女儿轻轻放到摇篮里，而且重复地说着："爸-爸"，呵，多么甜美，我自忖道，她选择教会我们的宝贝的第一个词是："爸-爸"。
几个星期后，妻子和我睡得正香，忽然被小小的哭声给唤醒了，"爸-爸"。。。。我翻个身继续睡。。妻子说了："亲爱的，她正在叫你呢"。

2、Two men were talking at the office rest room.One was telling the other about a fight hed with his wife."In the end ,"he said,"I had her begging on her knees."
"What did she say？"asked the coworker.
She told me to come out from under the bed.

译：两人正在休息室谈论着。一位正对另一位说起与妻子的一场争斗。他说："最后，我终于成功地迫使她跪下来求我"
另一位很好奇："她怎么求你的？"
"她求我快点从床下爬出来"