太子VS汰渍
2 A Sunday school teacher was telling her pupils the importance of making others glad. "Now, children," said she , "has anyone of you ever make someone else glad?"
"Please, teacher,"said a small boy,"I've make someone glad yesterday."
"Well done. Who was that?"
"My granny."
"Good boy. Now tell us how you made your grandmother glad."
"Please, teacher, I went to see her yesterday, and stayed with her three hours. Then I said to her, 'Granny, I'm going home,' and she said, 'Well, I'm glad'!"
一个主日学校校(基督教教会为了向儿童灌输宗教思想, 在星期天开办的儿童班)的老师在对学生讲使别人高兴的重要性。“现在，孩子们，”她说：“你们当中有谁让别人高兴过？”
“我，老师，”一个小男孩说：“昨天我就使别人高兴过。”
“做得好，是谁呢？”
“我奶奶。”
“好孩子。现在告诉我们，你是怎样使你奶奶高兴的。”
“是这样的，老师。我昨天去看她，在她那儿呆了三个小时。然后我跟她说：‘奶奶，我要回家了。’她说：‘啊，我很高兴！
3 Dick was seven years old, and his sister, Catherine, was five. One day their mother took them to their aunt's house to play while she went to the big city to buy some new clothes.
The children played for an hour, and then at half past four their aunt took Dick into the kitchen. She gave him a nice cake and a knife and said to him, "Now here's a knife, Dick. Cut this cake in half and give one of the pieces to your sister, but remember to do it like a gentleman."
"Like a gentleman?" Dick asked. "How do gentlemen do it?"
"They always give the bigger piece to the other person." answered his aunt at once.
"Oh" said Dick. He thought about this for a few seconds. Then he took the cake to his sister and said to her,"Cut this cake in half, Catherine.".
迪克年龄七岁，他的妹妹凯瑟琳五岁。一天，妈妈把他们带到姨妈家去玩，自己就到大城市去买些新的衣服。
孩子们玩了个把小时，在四点半的时候，姨妈领着迪克走进了厨房。她交给迪克一块精美的蛋糕和一把刀子，并对他说：“喏，迪克，给你刀子，把这块蛋糕一切为二，给你妹妹一块。不过，你得记住要做得像一个绅士那样。”
迪克问：“像一个绅士？绅士怎样做呢？”
他姨妈马上回答说：“绅士总是把大的一块让给别人的。”
迪克说了一声“噢”。他对此想了一会，然后，他把蛋糕拿给妹妹，并对她说：“凯瑟琳，你来把这块蛋糕一切为二吧。”
1. two tickets please
a young man was in love with a girl. at one weekend, he invited his girlfriend to the cinema. when they were at the ticket box, the young man said to the ticket seller, "two tickets, please. "
when the ticket seller told him that all the tickets had sold out, the disappointed young man said, "then do you have any sur- tickets that can allow us to stand together?"
两张电影票
一个小伙子爱上了一位姑娘。周末，他请她看电影。来到售票处，小伙子对售票员说：“请给两张票。”售票员告诉他所有的票都卖完了。失望的年轻人说：“那么，您有两张可以让我们站在一起的附加票吗？”
2. ill keep it on my floor
my 16-year-old son, jeff, is a boy any parent would be proud of --until you see the floor of his room, covered with layers of clothes, magazines and sports equipment.
recently i accompanied jeff to the credit union where he opened up his first bank account. while the credit officer was processing the paper work, i told jeff he needed a safe, accessible place to store his passbook. "i know, mom," he replied. "i' 11 keep it on my floor.
放在地板上
我的儿子杰弗，十六岁。他是一个令父母感到自豪的孩子，只是你别去看他房间的地板，那上面总是堆满了一层层的衣服、杂志及运动器材。
不久前，我带杰弗到信用联社去开他自己的账户，这是他第一次开银行账户。当信用社职员在办理手续的时候，我便告诉杰弗说他需要一个安全可靠的地方来保存密码本。“我知道，妈妈，”他回答说，“我会在地板上找到地方的。”
3. the attraction of the map
mr. smith taught english at a school .at the beginning of his lesson, he liked to have one of his students give a report on any subject. when it was jack's turn, he told his audience about his elder brother who was a local worker. but during the report, his eyes were staring at the world map on the wall all the time. mr. smith knew that jack didn't look at the audience because he was nervous. he said to jack jokingly, "we can see you miss your brother very much. but is he 0. k. now in south america?"
地图的引力
史密斯先生在一所学校教英语。在每次课的开始，他喜欢叫一个学生上讲台作讲演，题材不限。轮到杰克作讲演时，他向听众讲述了他的哥哥。他的哥哥就在当地工作。但在讲述过程中，杰克的眼睛一直盯着墙上的世界地图。史密斯先生知道杰克不敢看听众是因为紧张。他开玩笑似地对杰克说：“我们能看出你非常想念你的哥哥，他现在在南美还好吗？”
4. what grade
kristin,, my 17-year-old niece, had just gotten her driver's license and offered to take her mom's car to the gas station. she pulled up to the full-service pumps, and the attendant asked, "what grade, miss?"
"eleventh!" kristin replied.
哪一级
我的十七岁的侄女，科里斯蒂，刚刚拿到驾照。她主动提出去加油站给她妈妈的车加油。她把车开到昼夜服务的加油泵前。服务员问她：“（加油加到）哪一级，小姐？”
“十一（年）级！”科里斯蒂回答说。
Logic Reasoning
A fourth-grade teacher was giving her pupils a lesson in logic.
\"Here is the situation,\" she said. \"a man is standing up in a boat in the middle of a river, fishing. He loses his balance, falls in, and begins splashing and yelling for help. His wife hears the commotion, knows that he can\'t swim, and runs down to the bank. Why do you think she ran to the bank?\"
A girl raised her hand and asked, \"to draw out all of his savings?\"
逻辑推理
小学四年级的教师正在给学生们上一堂逻辑课。她举了这么一个例子：“有这样一种情况，一个男人在河中心的船上钓鱼，突然失去重心掉进了水里。于是他开始挣扎并喊救命。他的妻子听到了他的喊声，知道他并不会游泳，所以她就急忙跑向河岸。谁能告诉我这是为什么？” 一个女生举手答道，“是不是去取他的存款？”
[注]bank在英语中除了我们平时很熟悉的“银行”之外，还有“河岸”的意思。
Dating for Mother
When the young waitress in the café in Tom\'s building started waving hello everyday. Tom was flattered, for she was at least 15 years younger than he. One day she waved and beckoned to Tom again. When Tom strolled over, she asked, \"Are you single?\"
\"Why, yes,\" Tom replied, smiling at her broadly.
\"So is my mom,\" she said. \"Would you like to meet her?\"
约会
在汤姆工作的大楼里有一个咖啡屋，那儿总有一位小姐每天都和他打招呼。汤姆有些受宠若惊，因为这位小姐看上去至少比他年轻15岁。一天她又对汤姆招手并示意汤姆过去。于是汤姆走了过去。她问道，“您现在是单身吗？” “对，是单身，”汤姆满脸堆笑的说。 “我母亲也是，”她说，“您愿不愿意见见她？”
A Heavy Sleeper
The preacher was vexed because a certain member of his congregation always fell asleep during the sermon.
As the man was snoring in the front row one Sunday, the preacher determined he would teach him not to sleep during the sermon. So, in a whisper, he asked the congregation. \"All who want to go to heaven，please rise.\" Everyone got up except the snorer. After whispering \"Be seated\", the minister shouted at the top of his voiced, \"All those who want to be with the devil, please rise.\"
Awaking with a start, the sleepy-head jumped to his feet and saw the preacher standing tall and angry in the pulpit, \"Well, sir,\" he said, \"I don\'t know what we\'re voting on, but it looks like you and me are the only ones for it.\"
瞌睡者
牧师非常生气，因为总有一个人在他说教时打瞌睡。一个星期天，正当坐在前排的那个人又在瞌睡时，牧师决定要好好教育他一下，让他不要再在布道时睡觉。于是他低声对信徒们说：“想去天堂的人，都请站起来吧。”所有的人都站了起来——当然，除了那个打瞌睡的人。在低声说过请坐后，牧师高声喊道：“想去下地狱的人请站起来！”打瞌睡的人被这突然的喊叫声惊醒了，他站了起来。看到牧师高站在教坛上，正生气的看着他。这个人说道：“噢，先生，我不知道我们在选什么，但看上去只有你和我是候选人。”
One Engine Left
A 747 was halfway across the Atlantic when the captain got on the loud speaker, \"Attention, passengers. We have lost one of our engines, but we can certainly reach London with the three we have left. Unfortunately, we will arrive an hour late as a result.\"
Shortly thereafter, the passengers heard the captain\'s voice again, \"Guess what, folks. We just lost our third engine, but please be assured we can fly with only one. We will now arrive in London three hours late.\"
At this point, one passenger became furious. \"For Pete\'s sake,\" he shouted, \"If we lose another engine, we\'ll be up here all night!\"
只剩一个引擎
一架747客机正在跨越大西洋时，喇叭里传来了机长的声音：“旅客们请注意，我们的四个引擎中有一个丢失了。但剩下的三个引擎会把我们带到伦敦的。只是我们要因此晚到一小时 。” 过了一会儿，旅客们又听到机长的声音：“各位，你们猜怎么啦 ？我们刚又掉了第三个引擎。但请你们相信好了。只有一个引擎我们也能飞，但要晚三个小时了。” 正在这时，一位乘客非常气愤地说：“看在上帝的份上，如果我们再掉一个引擎，我们就要整夜都要呆在天上了。”
证婚记
一位太太担心她二十八岁的女儿找不到丈夫，劝
她在人事栏里登个分类广告：“兹有年轻貌美且极富
情趣之女继承人，征求与玩世不恭、爱好邀游之男士
通信。”
广告登出两天之后，妈妈着急地问：“怎么样？有
人应征吗？”
“只有一封。”女儿叹息说。
“谁写来的？”妈妈问。
“我不能告诉你。”女儿说。
“这是我的好主意，”妈妈叫道，“我非知道不
可！”
“好吧！”女儿无奈地说：“是爸爸。”
