A Comparison between Yin Hun and The Khufu Treasure
I am wondering if I will gild your lilies, which, according to my first impression, were both well-organized novels. People may pooh-pooh when hearing of your novels, dealing with truism. People may boo when reading them, appearing too luxurious. People who were pooh-poohing and booing are under sky of darkness. What they dislike is not your novel but your genius. They do not know what was planned in your novels. They do not understand what was conveyed in your novels. It is the spirit which has long been thrown away by those people who deemed your novel a piece of kitsch. What they have read into attenuates their stream of vision before your sea of knowledge, debilitates their string of courage under your hearth of determination. They deplored nothing but themselves.
For so long a time after my first travel in your novels, I think you will be successful, which is the situation you are in. For so long a time after my first comment, I think I may be in default of imagination to reach your realm. For so long a time after my mind teeming with thoughts on your leitmotif, I think I may do it for a second time. And here I am.
Both of these two novels are spectacular. Yin Hun won people via a journey, sojourn exactly, of a group of young people, trying to crack the mysteries in disguise of dieu. It galvanized readers. Unfailing intervention did not annihilate their determination. They grew stronger instead. To surmount their destined ending was their only raison d'être. This bestowed me a sense of déjà vu, being deeply and richly blessed by their supporters, to which I claimed myself belong. C'est la vie. Acclaim and applause are not enough to eulogize Yin Hun spirit.
Landscapes in Yin Hun, bringing themselves vividly before readers eyes, pleasing them, touching their hearts, are the strongest points. I have to say it again that you and Feng Zikai are much of muchness, outmanouvring most young writers. You, like he did in his chef-d'oeuvres, use plain words to vivify common pictures. You have a beautiful mind, maybe. This reminds me of your skills in Mu Ma Ji and its ilk, sensitive and sophisticated proses. You are a master of decoration, which can be illustrated by master Feng Zikai.
Aside from these, there is another point insufficient to make Yin Hun a best seller. Repetition is a figure of speech. However, if it comes too often, it will lessen its effects. Reread it, and you will not disagree with me. I was lucky to read your Yin Hun II, which was written in half old Chinese. It feels like swimming in a pool of soie, comfortable and consoling. Another problem has been haunting me was spooky. Utilizing so many complex words, adopting so many history stories, which were unconsciously a departure from the very most, came to be detested by people who felt themselves dwarfed. It emitted pressure. Yin Hun, from this viewpoint, was a desolated scene and should form a sense on a par with its readers. Readers and works should in close relation, I think. To say it colloquially, do not show your orgy of knowledge in your works. Moreover, to adorn your works, you need to cover it suitably striking. I know nothing about edition.
The Khufu Treasure (or Wings of the Dead) proved your genius in not writing but imagining fictions. It is a domino game. Chain reactions do happen when you delete any part of the story. You do not know the vérité, if you do not finish the novel. A crop circle is what I would like to consider it as. It is not a surprise that your fiction has been edited into one magazine. It is a silver lining for you, isn't it? Exactly, you have been triumphant. Even though you have your Treasure published, readers are eager to see the Yin Hun series because it will never be forgotten and will never be surpassed.
A problem I wanted to point out months ago was elitism. The luxurious atmosphere, fixated into a story like this, was too often to be swallowed. My observation held that a lot of words were for description of luxury of characters, mansions, clothes and cars. (They did not pay you. So do not promote them.) I thought it must aim at metro-sexuals, though. This is another scene of desolation. Use it efficiently and find a way to wrap it all up.
En un mot, I am honored to be your free novel tester. You believe me. I will rack my brain to initiate any comment on your novel objectively. After all, I am not an experienced writer or commentator and have no experience in reading a novel in Chinese except yours. My opinions are just to be criticized. Do not believe me in this. You are on the verge of winning more readers.

P.S.: Why not write something marginal, like adultery, gays, hippies, etc.? I find they are not blessed. I hope there is a happy ending for them in your novel. I have watched Atonement by myself. Amazing and unexpected ending told a story full of pain. I will cherish it. By the way, James Lefroy have collaborated with Anne Hathway (a misspell?) in many movies, like Becoming Jane. Any more movies starred by him? I think I begin to like him.
I am preparing for the graduate exam, just as you are. I find it difficult to apply for it. Time presses me. Please forgive me if I do not finish reading any of your novel, which I have been being interested in. Given that my translation skill is not good and you may use it soon, the translation of The Khufu Treasure will not be done in a short time. I promise I really want to translate it for you. At the same time, I do not want my bad translation to kill your promising future. (1007)

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